the rainbow connection

just returned from an assembly in the auditorium for our seniors, meant to encourage them (though poorly done in my opinion) to stay on top of their senior projects. after several pto members justified their presence by attempting to make the students feel guilty for not applying themselves when "we're willing to take time off of work to be here for you", a certain administrator whom i admire, at times, and respect more than most launched into a typical long-winded, repetitive sermon on responsibility and "reality". kids talked, seats creaked, i could see several cell phones out. regardless of good intentions, a gift, perhaps precious but poorly wrapped and improperly presented, might be discarded without a glance inside by the impatient or uninterested recipient. i'm reminded so often of the power of influence we have over these children, and discouraged at how often it is wasted, manipulated or misused. while the orchestra in his head reached a climax, our great motivator had an inspiration ...

"some of you are confused. you walk around saying you are seniors, calling yourself a senior, but you really don't know what it means to be a senior. sort of like a man who acts like a woman, you're just pretending and it's going to catch up with you eventually."

from the back of the auditorium, i had to turn my back to process this. why? in school? i recalled my first time at a baptist service outside of oxford, overwhelmed by love and acceptance initially through the singing, dancing, clapping and embracing ... only to have my heart stop when the pastor launched into an hour long call to end immorality in our communities, going as far as to state that if any man made a pass at him he would strike him down with his fists.

i've taken to showing youtube clips of obama to my club members after school. had an entire room walking it out to obamafy and falling in love with obama. politics are cool. what i love most of all, are his messages of unity. the push towards embracing our differences and coming together, not simply nationally but globally, resonates with what i believe needs to be in the forefront of all our decisions if we hope to make any progress in alleviating the great problems of the world today; poverty, disease, war, corruption, slavery. definitely idealistic, perhaps naive, but very necessary. anyway, in the one voice clip barack urges red states and blue states to come together, that we have more in common than not.

... we worship an awesome god in the blue states and don't want federal agents poking around in our libraries in the red states. we coach little league in the blue states and yes, we've got some gay friends in the red states ...

"wow", one of my students said in honest admiration, "that guy has some balls".

just last week, isiah, a junior who i've started helping to look for colleges up north, stopped by my room before school.

"mr. doyle, do you think me being black, from mississippi and gay will help me get into a good school?"

absolutely, i told him, that and his good grades. up until then, i really wasn't sure if isiah was gay or not. or open about it. when i think about how ackward, insecure and immature i was in high school, it makes someone like isiah seem that much more incredible. isiah twirls the baton for our school's band, and does so in a way that causes the stomachs of nearly every teenage boy watching to flip uncomfortably. when, "that's so gay" has replaced the juvenile "you're so stupid", when many of your teachers, administrators, pastors and other "community leaders" are saying that what you're doing, who you are, is somehow wrong and immoral, you've got to shake your head in appreciation of his bravery.

last year, dave said he hung a rainbow flag behind his desk in a delta classroom. dave is straight, and was making a statement. i think it's time i ordered mine.

"Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable

seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?"

Ernest Gaines